Fatherhood. It’s an odd feeling. One that is new, near and dear while simultaneously challenging and stressful. This odd juxtaposition places new stresses where they weren’t felt before. Such as, how much sleep can parents survive on? Or how are you going to take care of the little guy, scheduling-wise, between both parents. It boggles my mind how a single-parent can do the job I find fairly tough for two. As much as I loath the labor that goes into taking care of my baby, when I don’t get to do it (aka Grandma takes care of him for a few hours, etc.) I feel like I am somehow missing out on those “lost opportunities” to see my baby grow. When in retrospect, these little breaks are really little gifts. Gifts to those parents lucky enough to take breaks and care for themselves.
I think that at the root of this odd mixture of feelings is one of protection and trust. I’m sure every parent wants to protect their children for all eternity. Feeling safe enough to entrust family members or some form of a babysitter with your child (or should I say to protect your child) is another thing. Maybe I have trust issues. I think the most issues I have are in the category of parenting fundamentals. As pediatric advice changes or even stays the same from generation to generation, I can’t help but feel through my experience with my own grandparents, that grandparents are there to somehow bend the rules (spoil their grandkids). They may have had a different set of rules to enact on us as babies just as we have learned our very own rules to care for our babies. Everyone’s rules will consist of partly inherited rules and new ones too; be it new laws or newly standardized American Academy of Pediatrics practices. It feels like you are a tax accountant who must always stay on top of the latest IRS changes. Anyways, I feel a mixture of stress that in the end, may not be warrented as our parents must have done most things right as, well, we’re still here today. I just have to get over myself and parenting.
